Tuesday Challenge

It is said that it takes about 40 days to create a habit.  Forty continues days that is.  Not a few here and a few there. Month and a week to start something doesn't sound to hard till you get to day 21.  The halfway point has past and although the end of the 40 days is in sight the temptation to drop it is so powerful.   Over the summer I did the love dare with a friend.  We got to the halfway point and almost gave up but we encouraged each other and pushed each other through the rough days.  And at the end of the 40 days we had lost count of our days mentally just the calendar reminded us of our milestone.

As we get into the fall the temptation to sleep in or to stay home is almost more than we can handle.  To drive back to church on a Sunday evening seems so hard.  We get out of our routine of coming to church and it is hard to get back into it.  There is a great risk of never getting back into the habit for our children.   If we don't instill into them the habit of going to church and fellowshipping with other believers they will stray from the path.  It takes 40 days to create a habit and 1 day to break it.

While working in lexington I worked with the AA group that met in our building.  One of the men told me it would take one sip for him to go back to drinking.  That he had to change his whole routine to get sober.  One trip down his old routine and he would be back to his old habits again.  I think in a way that is true for us. I know it is for me.

If there is a habit that you need to get back into or maybe one you need to stop.  For the next forty days focus on that goal.  And help your children to do find a habit to work on.  Maybe it is saying a prayer before school or reading a story before bed or attending church more regularly. Make it an achievable goal.  Mark a calendar, set an alarm and tell others so they can hold you accountable.  

We can achieve so much more together. And remember it only takes 40 days to build a habit!

Thinking Tuesdays

Over the weekend I took a few youth to the Judgement House.   If you want to hear my thoughts on that please ask but there was a piece of that experience that reminded me of what I have been saying over the last couple years.   "When you see how much time you have left, you tend to do more with the time you have now."   We are only given a certain number of weeks and days with our children.   We have the opportunity to either invest in them or to waste away our time.  There is a song called "Live Like You Were Dying."  I wonder what our world would be like, what our churches would be like, how our bank accounts would look if we all lived like we are going to die soon.   Over my years of ministry I have sat with parents who were begging God for just one more day with their child.  They would give anything to have more time.  They see how much time is left and are treasuring the moments.   One particular family asked their child what they wanted to do before they died.   Made a list.  And they checked each thing off one by one.  There was no consideration of how their employers would respond.  There was no "when I get off work we will do something."   They didn't have to wait for a vacation time to come up.   They just went.   The child's list was sweet and simple.   And as I examined this list it was evident that this dying child just wanted what every other child wants.   Time.   Wanted to be able to spend time with his family.   Unconditional time.   No phones.  No TV.   No work.  No friends coming and interrupting.   Just them.

Almost every problem can be solved with time. If your child is whining, grumpy or angry all the time.  Give them one on one time each day.  About an hour if possible.   Even 20 minutes would be good.  And this is time with just them.  No other children.  No other friends.  Just them. It isn't easy to do.  And you will have interruptions sometimes but your child will greatly improve their behavior.  

Some of you might already do this.   Some of you might be trying to do this and are having trouble finding the time.  Some of you may be reading this and are thinking you do it but really don't.   Some people never got past the first line of this blog.   This week I want you to focus on your calendar.   Watch the clock.  Not for your job.  Not for when your favorite TV show comes on.  But for your children.   Make time for them that isn't taking them to their sporting events and doing homework.  Both of which are important.  However, find time where you can sit with your child.  Listen to them.  Hear their concerns, their struggles, their joys and their dreams.  

Having trouble starting that conversation?   Ask them three questions, how are you doing?   how is your walk with God?  what are you going to do about it?

Tuesdays Thoughts

                "People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing".  Dale Carnegie

Everyone is has their own gifts that God has given them.   Their own dreams that they are designed to follow.   This past Sunday in youth we had a Disney themed day where we talked about the life lessons we can learn from Disney but also our dreams.   We made our own Adventure Books filled with some of the dreams we have.   

      

As we were talking one of the youth said "I don't dream."   I asked why not and soon realized she was told not to.  As we worked through that I was reminded of the quote above.   People will not succeed if it is not something they like.  I have watched parents try to live their lives through their children instead of allowing their child to choose their own paths.  It is so easy to tell a child no this is what you really should do cause you'll make more money as an adult or you will gain more experiences.   

We as adults sometimes choose things not because they are fun or what we are gifted in but because it is what outside forces say we should do.  Many people dread going to work because of this very reason.  It isn't fun or what brings them fulfilment.   God had designed each of us for specific tasks.   These tasks will bring us great joy to do.  There will always be bad moments cause we live in a fallen world.  But if what you are doing is fun and what God has called you to do, you will succeed.  

This week is a simple week.  As your child what they like to do.  Even your two year old.  Give them time during the day to do that in which makes them happy.   And you do the same thing.  Make sure it is God honoring and you will see a shift in attitudes.   It is amazing how a little bit of fun and fulfilment can do for a persons attitude and out look on life.

  

Glee week 3 and 4

So my computer died and I am a bit behind on stuff so here is our Glee lessons from week 3 and 4....

Lesson 3 -  Born this Way?

“The thing you most want to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you.”   God made you beautiful and unique; there is no part of you that is a mistake.

We watched season 2 episode 18.  

First question:   Santana said that if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see then you should chane it.   Agree or disagree?   How would you respond to her if she said this to you?

Second question:  Mr. Schuester said that the “thing you most want to change about yourself is the most interesting part of you.”  And Mercedes said “the thing that makes you different is the thing people use to crush your spirit.” Is your school the same way?

Third question: Do you have a place where you feel people appreciate you for your differences? Where? Youth group? Sports team? Dance class? With certain friends?

Fourth question:  Mercedes says that Glee Club has no problem with acceptance, that they love each other. Mr. Schuester says they love each other but they do not love themselves. Do you think it is easier to love differences in other people or in yourself? Why? Do you pick out the differences in others or do you just see them as people?

Fifth question:  Quinn brags to Rachel about how beautiful Quinn is but then she sings about feeling unpretty. We later find out Quinn has had a nose job herself. Do you think the people who you see as beautiful feel the same way about themselves or are they insecure too? How does it make you feel to know that everyone is insecure about something?

Sixth question: When you try to change something about yourself, you’re just announcing to the world, “I don’t like myself very much” Do you think this is true?

Seventh question: Tina says that she realizes that she needs to “be the change you want to see in the world,” (Gandhi). How does this view relate to our own insecurities?

Eighth question:  The lyrics to “Born this Way” say, “I’m beautiful in my way, ‘cause God makes no mistakes/I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way.” What does it mean to say God makes no mistakes and you were born this way? How does that change the way you view yourself?

Read Psalm 139: 1-3, 13-16

This Scripture talks about God creating us each individually. If we really believe that the God who created the universe and called it good but called humans very good has personally created each of us to be just the way we are, then it’s hard to think of ourselves as ugly or flawed like society tells us we should. This belief is paralleled in the lyrics from “Born This Way”: “I’m beautiful in my way, ‘cause God makes no mistakes/I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way.” Realizing that God made you and God made beautiful things is the first step in learning to love every part of yourself.  What does it mean to say that God has searched us, knows us, and is familiar with all our ways (verses 1-3)? How does it feel to know that God already knows everything about you?  What does it mean to believe that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (verse 14)?  How do you feel knowing that “all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed” (verse 16)?  How does this Scripture relate to the clips from Glee for this week?  How does the Scripture relate to our lives?  What does it look like to live a life that says, “I’m proud of who God created me to be?”

Action: Everyone make a t-shirt with the things on it that you wish you could change.  What makes you who you are. 

Lesson 4…. You Could Be the Answer To Someone’s Prayer

  We watched  season  2 episode 3

1.       Kurt felt alone and hopeless when his mother died.  Have you ever felt the same way?

2.       What kept Kurt going when he had no hope?  Does love keep you going when you feel despair?

3.       The guidance counselor tells Finn that God doesn’t always answer prayers and sometimes the answers are just coincidences.  Is that true?  Does God always answer prayers?  Does God ever say no or not now?

4.       Why do some people have miraculous healings and other people just die when they get sick, even though both were prayed for?

5.       When Finn realized that his prayer were not being answered, he freaked out.  Have you ever felt the same?

6.       Had God ever answered your prayers? How?

7.       Do you ever feel like God doesn’t care?  Like God is distant?                      

8.       Why did Mercedes make such a big deal about Kurt going to church?

9.       What would you do to convince Kurt to come to church?

10.   Why is it important to invite people to church?

The Verses – Scriptures

Read Luke 4:18-19; 9:10-17

 We don’t often see God “in the world” because many (most?) Christians don’t act like Christians to the people who need God. In Luke 4:18-19, Jesus made it very clear why he came to Earth: to help the oppressed in every way. If we are to be like Christ, then shouldn’t we also bring good news to the poor and freedom to the oppressed? Shouldn’t we, then, look for ways to be the answer to someone’s prayer? To the homeless man on the corner, shouldn’t we at least give him a second glance? And perhaps a meal? To the battered woman and child, shouldn’t we help get them to a safe place? The poor, the blind, the captives, the oppressed don’t often ask outright for help. If we open our eyes to their needs, maybe we will be the answers to their prayers, however small those prayers might be. If we pray to God, not for what we need but for what someone else needs, then will we be living as Christ lived?

In Luke 9:10-17, the disciples had plenty of doubt that they could feed 5,000 people who had come to be healed and to hear Jesus speak. When they put their faith in Jesus and did what he asked them to do, the disciples became the answer to hungry people’s prayers. Throughout the four Gospels, Jesus sends the disciples and other followers of Christ to go out from their homes to heal the sick, cast out demons, and proclaim the Kingdom of God. Those who were healed were crying out for God; when they were healed, their prayers were answered. Their answers came in the form of disciples—of regular men who were fishermen, even tax collectors. Those “regular guys” trusted Jesus and followed his will to spread the good news and became the answer to people’s prayers.

1. According to Luke 4:18-19, why did Jesus come to Earth?

2. If we are supposed to be Christ-like then how should we practice being like Christ?

3. What keeps us as Christians from living like Luke 4:18-19?

4. In Luke 9:10-17 the disciples wanted to send the people away to go eat, but Jesus didn’t. What kept the disciples from helping the hungry people? Where those just excuses?

5. Do we make excuses today on why not to help people? What excuses have you heard or even said yourself?

6. What did Jesus do to overcome the disciples’ excuses? How can Jesus help us overcome our excuses?

7. Jesus wants us to be the answers to people’s prayers. Using the clip that we saw, how could you be the answers to Kurt’s, Finn’s, and everyone else’s prayers?

8. Where was Jesus in all the pain and suffering in the clip?

9. Would your church be like Mercedes’ church? How were their actions Christ-like?

10. How can you be the answer to someone else’s prayer?

11. If we all decided to be the answer to people’s prayers, how would school and youth group be different?

On a rock write the name of someone who you are going invite to church.

In the clip, we saw that every person in the episode struggled with their faith and with trusting God, but when Mercedes and her church stepped up and lived out their prayers that the students found solace. This goes to show that we will all struggle and we need to be there for each other, just as Jesus is always there for us.

Tuesday Challenge

Tribes

Each of us is part of a tribe (family) and our tribes mix together as we get married, join church and even friendships. This means you are part of more than just one tribe. Each tribe has their own special characteristics.  Each tribe has their own set of expectations.   Every tribe has its problems, big and small.   Every tribe and tribe member has gifts and talents to share with the tribe and outside the tribe.

I believe that God has given us these tribes to help us in many ways.  They are our safety net that we can fall back on when times are tough.   Whether good or bad, they are the ones who build our foundations when we are young.  As we get older they help us refine our skills and life goals.   Hopefully, they give us the tools we need to be successful on our Spiritual Journey.   I've never been a huge fan of the Duck Dynasty show but what I am a huge fan of is how they live as a tribe.   They work together, play together and eat together.   But most importantly pray and go to church together.
Their expectations are set high for each other and they hold each other accountable.

Being a part of a tribe isn't easy.  However, it is rewarding.   Confrontations have to happen for the tribe to grow and to stay in unity.  No one really like to have to confront someone with something that might be painful to both but we need to put aside fear and thoughts of failure to be the iron sharpening iron.   One of the hardest things I do is to have to correct a child when they are doing something they think is right.   We work through the embarrassment and the pain to come out with an outcome much better than allowing them to continue.   Same with your family tribe.   There will be conflict, not everyone will agree with what is happening and when.  Some will have different opinions one what is best to have for dinner or how a situation should be handles.   And that is okay. We sometimes have to agree to disagree on something.  But always support even if you don't agree.   A child's college choice may not be what you wanted or them dropping out of a sport.  But we must support them and help them through their decisions.  Guiding and correcting in love and support without criticizing them.

As we look at our tribes and the expectations we have for the members in it.   We then have to think are they realistic expectations?  Are they trying to meet those expectations or are intentionally ignoring them?   Have the expectations been explained in a way that the tribe members can understand?   Have they been reminded of those expectations or is it assumed that they know?

I see my ministry as a tribe.   I see all the children, youth and young adults in the ministry as tribe members.   Their are expectations that they have for me and me for them.   We sometimes make mistakes and mess up.   Our expectations are sometimes to high for each other.   At times we get frustrated with each other when we forget to explain the expectations clearly.   And their are moments when we celebrate with each other because everyone was on the same page.   But at the end of the day I remind myself and them that we are all part of one tribe - the Body of Christ.   He is the head of this tribe and He will guide us and give us expectations.   He will help us as we grow and learn.  

As we go through the next week how are you going to hold your tribe accountable?

52 Week Challenge

This week I would like for us to focus on comfort.  Bad things happen.  It is a part of life.  This past week we remembered my sisters homecoming two years ago and I watched a friend lose their first born child.   As we watched my sister slip into the hands of God, I never questioned Him.   I only clung to the comfort only He can give.   As my friend spent long nights in the hospital with her son wondering if he was going to live or die she questioned where God was but knew His hand was on them.

Psalm 119: 76 says" Let your steadfast love become my comfort"

During times when life is rocky it is sometimes hard for us to be a comfort for our children.  We ourselves are craving comfort and sometimes have little to share.

The first thing we can do is stop and listen to each other.   Let your children tell you their feelings, don't tell them what they are feeling but let them share what is on their heart. 

Next is to just give them time.   Sometimes we just need time and space.  Don't push them to cuddle with you or to talk to you.

Don't hide the facts from them, don't feed them half-truths.   During trails don't try to protect them from things that you think might hurt them.  When it comes to sharing information, allow them to ask questions and don't be afraid to answer them.  A good friend of mine lost her second child when she was eight months pregnant.  As a family they walked through the grief process and their five year old son was involved with all the process.  He helped with the funeral and was allowed to say goodbye to his baby sister in the hospital. 

Comfort comes in many forms.  Everyone needs to be comforted in different ways.  Some people have to talk it out, others just need to be held, while others need to do something. 

Comforting others isn't easy sometimes and doesn't come naturally to all of us.  Fear gets in our way of reaching out to someone who is in need of being comforted.  Our own need for comfort can be a stumbling block.  

This week seek out someone outside of your family.  Take the kids with you and show them love and comfort.  If you don't know of someone we have a list of shutins that are always in need of a friendly visit.

Spread love everywhere you go; first of all in your house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. – Mother Teresa