Tonight!!

Tuesdays Challenge

**Reminder that this is said to challenge us and to help us grow closer to God. We all have things in our lives that we need to work on. Let's work on it together. Let us help our children to grow to be better Christians than we have been. Use the mistakes we have made to teach our children to not follow those same mistakes.

How Committed Are You?

I love baptisms. I love to watch families dedicate their lives to raising their children in a Christ filled environment. It is the same feeling I get when someone joins the church. They are dedicating themselves to the church with their time, talents and financial support. My question this week is how committed to the church are you? Are you showing your children that commitment?

Let’s start by looking at the baptismal covenant.


The minister addresses the congregation:
Dearly beloved, baptism is an outward and visible sign of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, through which grace we become partakers of his righteousness and heirs of life eternal. Those receiving the Sacrament are thereby marked as Christian disciples and initiated into the fellowship of Christ’s holy Church. Our Lord has expressly given to little children a place among the people of God, which holy privilege must not be denied them. Remember the words of the Lord Jesus Christ, how he said, “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God.”

Dear friends, I present child’s name for Holy Baptism. May this be a time of joy for him/her and his/her parents.

The minister addresses the parents:
Beloved, do you, in presenting this child for Holy Baptism, confess your faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?

Parents: We do!

Do you therefore accept as your bounden duty and privilege to live before this child a life which becomes the Gospel; to exercise all godly care that she be brought up in the Christian faith, that she be taught the Holy Scriptures, and that she learn to give reverent attendance upon the private and public worship of God?

Parents: We do!

Will you endeavor to keep this child under the ministry and guidance of the Church until she, by the power of God, shall accept for herself the gift of salvation, and be confirmed as a full and responsible member of Christ’s holy Church?

Parents: We will!

The minister receives the child and addresses the parents:

What name is given to the child?

Then, repeating the child’s name, though not including the surname says:

Child’s name, I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

The minister addresses the congregation:

Do you, as a congregation, accept the responsibility of assisting these parents in fulfillment of the baptismal vows, and do you undertake to provide facilities and opportunities for Christian nurture and fellowship?

The Congregational Covenant:

With God’s help we will proclaim the good news and live according to the example of Christ. We will surround child’s name with a community of love and forgiveness that she may grow in her service to others. We will pray for child’s name, that she may be a true disciple who walks in the way that leads to life.





Okay let’s break this down and see what it is that each of us has committed to.

Beloved, do you, in presenting this child for Holy Baptism, confess your faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?
This one is pretty obvious. Do you have Jesus?

Romans 10:13 says that “whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

God came to save us all, not just a few people or the righteous people. He came to save us all. John 3:16 says that “for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

We all have sinned and separated ourselves from God. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

The sad reality is that sin does separate us from God. We can choose to live a life of sin or to turn away from that and to accept this free gift of salvation offered by Christ.

So this question is asking simply do you accept you’re a sinner? Do you believe that Jesus died for those sins on the cross? Do you confess him as your Lord and Savior?

Do you therefore accept as your bounden duty and privilege to live before this child a life which becomes the Gospel; to exercise all godly care that she be brought up in the Christian faith, that she be taught the Holy Scriptures, and that she learn to give reverent attendance upon the private and public worship of God?

This one will take a bit more work to break it down. First is our bounden duty and privilege to live before this child a life which becomes the Gospel. Are we walking the talk?

Deuteronomy 6: 1 – 9 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fearthe Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Ephesians 6:4 says warns fathers “do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

There is a warning to those who lead children astray and do not teach them. Mark 9:42 says that “if anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.”

A millstone is a huge stone used for grinding wheat and other grains.  Something that many who lived during that time would understand as something heavy.

It specifically talks though in this part of the liturgy about how we live. Are you serving in the church each week? Are you reading your Bible? Are you avoiding temptations? Are you loving your enemies? Are you showing love to your family, even on days you don’t want to? Are you attending church services and a Bible study each week?

It is so easy for us to put ourselves first. To get angry at the driver in front of us. To think, I am too busy to carve out an hour this week to work with a ministry within the church. We slip into that thought pattern that you are loving to those around you, that is good enough. We all do it, I even do it. But the Bible makes it clear that we will be judged for what we have been given to take care of. The example we set for our children is one of those things. I know that I don’t always set the best example for the youth and children that are in my realm of influence. Sometimes I get frustrated when driving the van and say out loud “the peddle on the right!” Sometimes I don’t show kids/ youth all the love I should. I make excuses of why I missed a game of theirs. And I think God understands that we aren’t perfect but as long as we are trying to do our best. He will help us do the rest.

to exercise all godly care that she be brought up in the Christian faith, that she be taught the Holy Scriptures, and that she learn to give reverent attendance upon the private and public worship of God?

Is church a priority in your life? Do you figure out ways in which you can have a devotional with your child each day? And to attend a public worship service? Do you pray with your child?

Priorities… I was proud of one of our youth last Sunday as he walked into the youth room sweaty from being at a game and a little late but still made it his priority to be at youth group. I was thrilled as one of our children came into children’s worship with a friend because they were having a sleepover and she knew she still needed to go to church. It made my heart proud to hear that a youth gave up going to practice to attend our Wednesday night activities. Behind each of those kids and youth is a parent who has taught them that their priority should be God. God first and everything else after that. That includes sports. That includes video games. That includes shopping. We all at times put something else before God. And I know that I stepped on toes with that statement. However, if we allow our children to put their sports and friends before church we are telling them that when they get older they don’t have to go to church. Really. We are. People ask me all the time why aren’t the youth of today in the church. Well, let’s look back at our history. It is now okay to have games and practice on Sunday and Wednesday. We no longer allow our children to pray or have their Bibles in school. We spend so much time filling our time so we are just sitting around that we have pushed God and the church to the category of “if I have time this week.”

I had a young mother of six come to me in my office all stressed out and was frustrated that I was asking her to volunteer in the children’s worship time. “That is my time to be away from my children and it is your responsibility to teach our kids about Christ.” Wow… we have one hour a week if we are lucky as a church to train your children in the way they should go. You have hundreds and thousands of hours to make an impact on your child’s spiritual life.

I’m not saying sports are bad or that putting kids in all these after school activities are harmful. I’m saying we need a balance. We need to help our children and youth to see that God needs to be number one in our life.

I just got a text from a youth asking if she could come hang out at church after school. I asked about practice and the other afterschool things she has. Her response…. “I would rather be at church than those activities. They are fun but will only last for a while, God lasts forever.” I didn’t teach her that by my words but by my actions.

If you sit through a lesson or service on your phone, you’re setting a priority in the lives of the children/ youth around you that it is okay to not pay attention during a service and that church is boring. If you are critical of everything in the church or any then you are slowly teaching your children / youth to be critical of everything.

Our actions, this includes mine, are being watched by little eyes who are learning from them.



Will you endeavor to keep this child under the ministry and guidance of the Church until she, by the power of God, shall accept for herself the gift of salvation, and be confirmed as a full and responsible member of Christ’s holy Church?

This is saying that after you baptize your baby you can’t just stop coming to church. Baptism is the first step in a long journey of salvation. By the time the child is a teenager they should be given the opportunity to say yes to being a full member of the church. Through a class called confirmation, confirming the teaching they have been taught over the years.

We can’t just check it off as though it is a to do list.

Baptize kid – Check

Put them through confirmation – Check

There is a whole bunch of stuff that must happen in between those. Sunday school, missions, church services, allowing them to ask the deep questions, surrounding them with believers and many other things.

Last is the congregations commitment. It isn’t just about your responsibility but it is about the Church as a wholes responsibility.

With God’s help we will proclaim the good news and live according to the example of Christ. We will surround child’s name with a community of love and forgiveness that she may grow in her service to others. We will pray for child’s name, that she may be a true disciple who walks in the way that leads to life.

We can’t do this alone. We can’t change our priorities or anything without God’s help. He is the one we need to turn to. As parents and as a congregation we need to constantly be on our knees asking God to help us with the raising of these children. The churches future depends on it. Our children’s eternity depends on it.


This week before you do anything honestly pray about if it is God’s will. I will be doing the same thing and as we realign our priorities together lets hold each other accountable. Ask each other, how is your priorities this week? Are you fulfilling the commitment you made the day that had your child baptized? And any other question to help each other to grow.

Tuesday! The Impact of our Words

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

Words are impactful. Words can either make us or break us. Interesting fact about words is that women can speak up to 20,000 words a day compared to men who speak about 7,000 words. (http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2006/09/24/sex_on_the_brain/)

During the day we use our words for gaining and giving information. This can be through sharing stories, asking questions, giving answers to questions and many other things. Children are full of questions and love to share information. How we respond to them will impact how they will communicate later. Our communication styles do impact our children.

I had a mother once bring her child to my office. She told me that he was being disrespectful and was not listening to her. That when they talked he would shout at her. I asked many questions but came to the conclusion after having dinner with them one night that he was responding to how he was being taught to communicate. When he was spoken to it was in a loud demanding tone. So that is how he responded back which in turn made the parent respond that way and it just escalated from there. Then when he was speaking or telling a story at the dinner table the parents were half listening at best. After a few months of learning to communicate with each other the family was functioning better. They were slowly understanding each other better. When we speak kind words to each other and communicate then we are better able to love each other. The way that we use our words with our children will be the way that they use their words back to us.

Kind words stay with us for a long time. I have a box full of notes and cards that when I am having a bad day can go and look through. I still remember the sweet comments people have made to me over the years but it seems that bad comments stick with us longer. It takes twelve good comments to make up for one bad one. If all someone hears in negatives then they themselves will become negative. “Bad emotions, bad parents and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones.” http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/your-money/why-people-remember-negative-events-more-than-positive-ones.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

If we want our children to be positive and to communicate positive things then we need to be pouring more positives into them. Negative comments have to happen. We must correct our children to help them grow but it is all in the way you say it. If you continually tell a child they are stupid then eventually they will say they are and act like they are. If you tell a child that you know they can do better and then help them to succeed. They will grow and will in turn help others grow. Praising them when you see them do something good is the way to start. They will walk in the way you teach them.


Here is a good article on how to talk to your children: http://www.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/publications/22-649.pdf

The main thing are: To love your children unconditionally. Speak kind words to them over time they will begin to change. Tell them each day that you love them Speak and act the way that you want them to speak and act. Believe in your child not just say I think you can do it but believe it in your heart and mind. Share with them your stories and struggles. Appologies when you do something wrong. Don’t be afraid to confess when you messed up to your kid. Make sure your speaking clear and kind words. Remember that your child is unique and not like you. They may need to be praised differently or communicated with differently than you or your other children. Pray before you speak or correct your child. Consistently speak in calm and loving tones. If you are unsure ask your kids if you sound angry or loving. Thank them regularly for what they are doing and ask for them to thank others. Don’t hold mistakes over them. Help them learn from them and to know how to apologies when they do make mistakes.


This week as you are talking to your child, praise them. If you want adopt what we have adopted in the youth ministry. Say 10 nice things about them every day. To them and then create a journal with those things written down for them to read when they are sad and need to be reminded of the good things.

Glee! Week 2!

And That’s What You Missed on Glee
“The show must go . . . all over the place . . . or something.”

Dealing with death is hard, but God and others are always present.   We just have to be willing to let them be with us during hard times.   Death is an uncomfortable topic.   It isn’t something that we like to talk about.   But sometimes we have to talk about those tough things to realize we aren’t alone.

Tonight we are going to watch two different clips from Glee.   One is from the second season and the second is from this season.

Before we begin who has had a family member or friend die?

Our first clip is when Sue is struggling with the death of her sister.  Sue is mean, cruel and hates the Glee club.   She doesn’t want anyone to help her especially the Glee club.   She needed help and so the Glee club decided to help her even if she was cruel about it.  This scene we are going to watch is the funeral.  The Glee club has helped Sue sort through her sisters stuff and helped plan the funeral. 

http://youtu.be/oBJbNBWuGL4

How did death help bring people together, even those who don’t get along, in your experience?

Death is hard, it hurts, and it makes us question everything. What questions does death make you ask?

Here are some of the questions that were asked:

1.       Cremation?   Body is burned in a big oven.  Then the ashes are collected and placed in a container of families choosing.  Ashes can be buried or taken home.   Cremation can happen before or after the funeral.  It is up to the family and the persons wishes.

2.       Does death hurt?  What does it feel like?  Everyone’s death is different.  Some are painful and others are not.  Some fall asleep and never wake up.  Others suffer with pain until the very end. 

3.       Why do we die?  Because when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden that was part of the consequence of their action.

4.       Can you go to Hell for something someone else did and not talking about it? We will be judged for our own actions not the actions of others.   If you know that someone is hurting someone then yes there will be consequences.  But I believe that God judges us for who we are in the big picture not just one circumstance.  He sees and knows more than we do.  All we can do is what we know is right and what we believe God would want us to do in each situation.  Prayer and asking others for advice is the best way to judge if your intention are in line with God’s will.

5.       Why would God want people to die early? I don’t think God wants us to die early.  I think it is because of the consequence of sin that we die.  Not because God says “today I pick you… you and you to die.”   It hurts that someone young can die but we are not guaranteed today or tomorrow.  All we are promised is this moment and that God is with us.

6.       Why not wait until their old, so they can live?  If only we could all live to be 900 years old.  But that just isn’t how life works.   We have the choice on how we live our lives and sometimes our choices cause bad things to happen.  And sometimes that bad thing is death.   All we can do is make every moment count.  

7.       Who is the oldest person to die?  His name was Methuselah and he was 969 years old when he died.  He was the grandfather of Noah.

8.       Why must death make you feel so sad but then so good to know there is a better place?  Death causes a range of emotions.  It is weird to think someone is gone.  Death is sad because we are losing someone we loved.  Someone we shared life with.  But as Christians we also can celebrate because we know that one day we will see them again.  

9.       What happens to are physical body when they lay us in the ground? It decomposes and becomes part of the earth again.   We were made from the ground and to the ground we will return.  When God created Adam He used the ground to form him.   And we one day will return to the ground. 

Questions are good.   We need to be willing to asks questions.  Even if there isn’t a simple answer or an answer at all.  We need to voice them.   Find someone you can talk to.  Ask them just to hear out your questions and that it is okay for them not to know the answer but just let you say them out loud.  

Check Out Glee: The Quarterback on Hulu.  http://www.hulu.com/watch/543572

Our second clip is from the last season, it is where someone who is your age or a little bit older has died.  Finn had just graduated from high school.  Was planning to marry Rachel.   Was the Glee clubs best male singer for much of the first three seasons.   The first clip I am going to show you is the family packing up Finns stuff. 

So death is a topic that we avoid.   We don’t want to think about the fact that one day we will die.   There is 100% chance of that.   Only God knows the number of our days we do not.  We can be here on earth for a short or a long time but we don’t know.  Church, here, is a good place for us to talk about death.  To talk about the what happens after we die.  To ask our questions about it.  And to celebrate the people we have lost.   

Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Does this verse  help or not help when dealing with loss? Why or why not? Does this feel like another cliché people say just to make themselves feel better?   

I hated when people would say “oh she is in a better place.”   When my sister died.  Call me selfish but I just wanted her here with me.   But I know that they are right.  She was miserable here on eartch, so sick and in so much pain.  She is in a better place.  Doesn’t make it easy though.

Next section of clips is where Santana gets angry at Sue and screams at her.  There are a few words in here that are not appropriate.

When we lose someone grief makes us do weird things.   It causes us to say things that are just out of character.   How are some of the ways we can react to someone dying?

Scream
Cry
Throw things
Take a long drive
Talk to someone

Our next clip is when Puck gets upset and coach helps him talk through it.  Then Santana sings her song about Finn.

Coach Beiste: He's dead. And all we've got left is his voice in our head. I'm sorry, but it's time. You've gotta be your own quarterback.
Puck: Do you think we could retire his number. Kurt has his letterman jacket. Maybe we could frame it or something. Put it up in here. Other kids should know who he was years from now.

               

It’s okay to cry!   When we lose someone it hurts and it is okay to cry.   When we lose someone we also have regrets.   What were some of the regrets we have seen so far?

Read Matthew 28:18-20

God is always with us.   He never leaves us.  He is always helping us even when we don’t see it or feel it.

How have you experienced God being with you?

We watched the rest of the episode.  Here are some of the other things we discussed:

When we lose someone there are things of theirs that we keep close.   What objects or things have you held close to you from the loved one you have lost?

For me it is a bear of my sisters.   When she died we had people bring teddy bears instead of flowers to her funeral.  We surrounded her with over 500 bears during her funeral.  She would have been so happy.   For the Glee club it was his letter jacket.

Plans change, when someone dies things are different.   Not always better in our minds at that moment but as time goes we settle into our new reality.

What to say when someone loses a person they love depends on the person.   I love the Jewish tradition.  When someone dies they go to their homes and just sit with them.  No words.  No touch unless asked for.  They just sit there.  Cry with them.  And pray with them.  

What do we do when their voice, smell and image in our head starts to fade?   How do we move forward?  

We don’t know when we are going to die.   We are only promised today, the present.  So many people live in the past and what has happened.   Or live in the future and say oh in ten years I’ll do that.   Instead of living in the here and now.  Now that is not saying we shouldn’t have goals and look to the future.  Because we should.  But we can’t push the pause button on life till we get to a certain age or have a certain amount of money in the back.   We must live life to the fullest.  We all have a beginning and an end.   And on our tombstone there will be a dash in the middle.   What are you going to do with the dash in the middle of your dates?   How are you going to make your dash impact the lives of others?    How are you going to make your life meaningful?

What do you want people to say about you when you die?

On a rock I want you to put the name of someone who has died that helped make your dash significant.  Who made an impact on your life?   It can be a pet or friend or family member.

God loves you.  God loves the person you have lost.  God is with us in the middle of the pain and confusion and hurt.  Death is not fun and we all react to it differently.  Let others and God help you through.

God's Love

As we journey through these 52 weeks and making our time count.  This week I want you to stop and focus on your relationship with God.

Your children whether you like it or not are modeling what you are doing.  A friend of mind wondered why her son keep shuffling his feet when he walked till one day she realized that she was shuffling her feet when she walked in the morning.  They imitate what we do, say and even our silence.

Our lives are living testimonies to what we have on the inside and what our priorities are.   If we have God in our lives and as our top priority then everything else will fall into place.  Easy to say... hard to actually do.  It means sacrificing and dealing with tough things in our lives.  

There is a story in the Bible about a man who asked Jesus what it would cost to follow Him.  When he found out it would cost everything he wasn't to sure he was willing to pay that price.   But the way I see it.  God paid the ultimate price for me to have life.  That my only response is to give Him everything I have and everything I am.   To love Him with all of me.  Not just an hour a week or 10 minutes in the morning.  But every moment.

How much does God loves us?   As far as the east is from the west.  He loves us enough not to leave us where we are.   He wants us to live our lives to the fullest.  

Are you willing to make some sacrifices this week to show God how much you love Him?  Wake up early, not go to an event to do something at church, give up your evening to go to the Wednesday night Bible study, take notes during the sermon and then share them with someone...

Glee!

This Is What You Missed on Glee!  

Week 1!

Season 1 Episode 16  -  “Home”

Glee is a show based on a group of high school kids who all share a common joy of singing.  They have a club that is like what we know as a show-choir.   Each character in this show may be like someone you have seen in your own hallways at school.  Or maybe they remind you of you.   No matter what each of these unique characters are dealing with struggles that you will run into. 

This show isn’t rated G.   It is real life.  It talks about the topics you hear about at school.  Drugs, alcohol, sex, same sex relationships, friendships, breakups, family issues and so much more.

In the episode we watched today there are a lot of things … Grief and loss in which we will discuss on a different week.   Family issues and things that happen behind closed doors at home.  The feeling of being left out.   Many topics that we could talk about but I want to talk about self-image and harm.  

Mercedes sang a beautiful song about  it.  If you missed here it is: http://youtu.be/UUTgeU13atk

The way we look...The way we think others see us…Trying to fit in to make ourselves feel better….

When we feel bad inside we turn to drugs. Sarcasm. Alcohol. Not eating. Cutting. And other things that hurt the body and temple God has given us.  God made us perfect.  From the way we look to our personalities.  Each of us is special and unique just the way we are.

Psalm 139:14

Even before you were born God knew you.  He wrote out a perfect plan for you.  He numbered your days.  He created you with all of who makes you -  you. No matter what the world tells you, or what you tell yourself.  God made you and He loves you.  He doesn’t make mistakes.   The world can try and drag us away from what we know is true.  But if we keep God as our foundation nothing can move us.   Take a rock and tonight I want you to write on this rock what God is to you this week.   To Him you are everything.  He created you and loves you.   This week God for me is my healer.  As I deal with health issues I lean on Him as the great physician. 

Love

“Love may be the best idea that every came along.”

Love is our theme for this week.  How are we loving each other?

Google “love” and many things come up on your search engine.  Things that make us chuckle but also make me sad inside.  The top looked at websites are what Google brings up as the first few links for you to click on.  Everything from quotes to a love calculator came up today.

We have a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places (quarter to anyone who can name the song without looking it up).   We sing about love, talk about love, and demand or expect love.  We seek for love in ways that sometimes are not the most Godly.

The way we love each other and ourselves affect the way that our children love us, their friends and themselves.

Love is amazing and next week we will talk about our Father’s love but this week lets focus on the love we have for each other.

One of God’s commandments to us is to love one another.  Greatest commandment is to love God and love others.   It isn’t just the best idea that came along but it is God’s idea!  He is the one who came up with it, designed it and fills our cups with it.

We however have the choice to love.   It isn’t demanded of us.  It is our choice to love or not to love.  And sometimes, even if we do love someone they don’t feel like we do.  When we love someone for their well-being and not for what we will get out of it.  We are showing them unconditional love. 

The youth a few months ago learned how to love each other better by learning each other’s love language.   Our love language is how we receive love.  Even children have a love language.  You can discover your love language at this website: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.

There are five love languages:

1.     Words of Affirmation

2.     Acts of Service

3.     Receiving Gifts

4.     Quality Time

5.     Physical Touch

Here are some photos to help you to understand what the love languages are and how they affect us.

How will you speak your child, spouses or co workers love language this week?