Death

After Wednesday there have been a few parents ask me about how to talk to your children about death. This is a topic that can be scary to children but is something that they are seeing all the time. Almost every Disney movie has a death in it, it is on the TV shows we watch, the news we have on in the background has it on it. We can try and hide from it but death is a part of life.
From a young age my parents taught me that death isn't something to fear. It wasn't an often discussed subject but it wasn't avoided. My parents modeled for me how to react to the death of someone we knew or a pet. We mourned all in our own ways and that was accepted that we aren't all the same. When it came to my sisters death it was treated in the same manner. She explained death to the children in her life and helped them see that it was just the beginning for her. Not the end. It wasn't something to fear if you had Jesus. Is it fun or something we wish, no. But God is our hope and strength. When I was young my father introduced me to the the Chronicles of Narnia.  In that series the last book has this quote that to me sums it up.
“And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

Here are some resources and advice on how to talk to your child about death...

1. This hospice website has some great age-based information on it: http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.html

2. Don't dodge the questions, answer them even if it is we will talk about this later let them know you aren't avoiding the topic.

3. Give them stories of people you have had in your life that have died

4. Don't tell them they are sleeping or that they have gone away.  This will instill a fear of sleeping and will give them the impression that the person is coming back.

5. Avoid saying "God needed them." Again that will instill fear and also gives a wrong impression of God. You can say that they are in Heaven with God and that is comforting to know.

6. If you have just had a loved one die, for younger children keeping your normal routine is important. allow them express their feelings and if needed allow them to get help.

7. The book Tear Soup is an amazing resource for people who have recently lost someone. In the book, it gives tips for those who are grieving at all ages

8. Here is another website that has some good information on it.... http://grievingchildren.org/grief-resources/